Community Building Tools from Reverend Valorie Kay
As we remain mindful of the Season of Non-Violence, it is useful to apply communication tools that can help us move from confrontation to connection.
If confrontation is developing from another, instead of pushing back or reacting negatively, you could ask:
1 - “What would you like me to know about this?” After the person answers, say,
2 - “What I heard you say is________. Is that what you wanted me to hear?” As long as the answer is yes, then ask,
3 - “Is there more?” Keep stating #2 and #3 until the answer is no. Then ask
4 - “May I tell you what I would like for you to know about this?”
Then ask the person to reflect back what they heard you say until it is clarified. This shifts the energy with invitation to reach understanding.
If the energy feels too emotionally unsafe, then simply ask for a time out and do this dialogue another time when both parties are willing.
This exercise source comes from Unitive Justice for Unitive Living.